Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
