I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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