dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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