Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
