I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
