distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
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He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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