I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
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How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
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Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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