Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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