So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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