i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
