Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
