My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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