do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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