Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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