The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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