You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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