Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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