she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
