thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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