i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Is it penis luge time yet?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
