The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
