very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
