the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Randomize
