This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
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She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
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You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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