woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
