I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
