you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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