he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
