the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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