We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
