I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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