We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
