i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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