Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
