so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
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