so that wasnt chicken after all
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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