youre lurking in front of me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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