Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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