If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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