Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
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What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
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I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize