I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
