no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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