I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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