dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
