I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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