We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
