so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
