i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
