Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
