What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
