My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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