Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my phone needs a breathalizer
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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