i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
