Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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