is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I faked an abortion last night.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
