I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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