If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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