i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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