I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize