last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just high enough for therapy.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
